READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
