I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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