1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
