Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize