Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
