ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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