I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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