Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
