Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
