im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
