I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize