Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
