? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
