i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
