Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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