it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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