Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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