we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
