it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
