I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
