you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Say something about gay babies.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
