We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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