she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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