The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
try to milk me bitch
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