I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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