My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
