i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
