is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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