everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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