So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
