She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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