he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
