someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
