if i died would you start the facebook group?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
