My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
