the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't turn off my feet"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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