i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
