There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
