Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
