is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
