Where is the hickey?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
