i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
