this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
