is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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