yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
