Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
