Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
