omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
