Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
