we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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