Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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