"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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