I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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