He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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