Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara