I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.