Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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(505): View more from New Mexico

When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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(917): View more from New York City

I just don't do feelings in the summer months.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right

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(310): View more from California

You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

I spilled wine on it.

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