Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22266) Bad night (965)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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  (+44): it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl http://tfl.nu/hhri
  Replies (16) Good night (1239) Bad night (4358)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was

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  (514): I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was http://tfl.nu/5j8j
  Replies (14) Good night (7144) Bad night (3326)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

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  (610): You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice... http://tfl.nu/x7so
  Replies (7) Good night (4289) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

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  (504): I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee http://tfl.nu/ouc6
  Replies (23) Good night (5837) Bad night (1022)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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  (867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e
  Replies (9) Good night (982) Bad night (2133)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.

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  (301): I feel like I just tasted lung cancer. http://tfl.nu/g1s0
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (2481)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.

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  (570): I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know. http://tfl.nu/puq8
  Replies (10) Good night (1841) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

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  (617): Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide." http://tfl.nu/7grl
  Replies (31) Good night (2735) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity

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  (314): Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity http://tfl.nu/auuk
  Replies (6) Good night (1114) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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  (309): I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to. http://tfl.nu/ueue
  Replies (10) Good night (751) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Where's your car?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  The girl I brought home apparently stole it

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  (989): Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station? (615): Where's your car? (989): The girl I brought home apparently stole it http://tfl.nu/7hzq
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.

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  (423): I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time. http://tfl.nu/ysom
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo

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  (773): i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo http://tfl.nu/4n46
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (989): I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/8a6x
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (156)

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