When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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