I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
50% drunk capacity currently
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.