dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
