Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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