i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
