it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Someone shit on the floor
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
