Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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