I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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