I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
are you so shy because you have an std?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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