He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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