No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
