oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
