i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
